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Place of equilibrium aka kids f*ck off!

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Oct. 16th, 2009 | 10:32 pm

Wrote this Friday night. I was heartened to overhear some seniors remarking that there was an inordinate amount of douchebags this quarter.

I've been bothered about not writing time and again and I think about it all the time. I tell myself I'll write an entry tomorrow and make it really good to make up for it. I thought the paralytic depression I felt in OC would dissipate once I arrived at this magical destination in (my) life the University. I was all smiles and sweetness and light at first. We were all in a collectively good mood with excitement and newness and fun. Here at the art college where I live there is always music and singing and jam sessions at all hours in the courtyards and halls. Just this week we had a massive naked run in honor of the first rain of the season. 600 or so teens gathered in our commons then took off with collective chants, bagpipes, drums, and such trying to gather other naked students from other colleges. I learned something. A university is a collection of colleges. Here we have at least 10 all connected by lush forested redwood groves and wooded land. The deer are so abundant and ubiquitious that they seem to have little fear of humans. Just tonight I stumbled upon 2 as I ascended science hill on my way home. I tried to see how close I could get before they reacted. I got about 15' and crouched down. The deer looked at me perplexed for about a full minute before skirting away. The raccoons come out in packs of 3 or 5 as well and they just saunter past you as you walk from dining hall to residence hall. All the animals look so robust here.

center
Cantú Queer Center (radio station next door)

So why the change of heart? Why the sudden entry? A lot of great things have happened to me here in a short time. It would seem almost as if I were leading a charmed life here. I volunteered my time at the Queer Center and was offered a work study job which has been a lifeline and hilight of my weeks. The center and the crazy inclusive way they work is so welcoming and affirming. They even feed you and encourage you to nap on the couches which is so cozy since its housed in a huge A frame cabin with a picture window view of a redwood grove on a hillside. My boss is this incredibly fabulous turned on lesbian who looks like Jenny Shimizu and moves with such grace. She was a very succesful modern dancer before becoming a cool mom 2 years ago. The kind of mom who busy Gaultier baby and elucidates gender theory. She's asian like me so there's that affinity comfort level as well. I really love spending time with her and am really enjoying our friendship. Funny enough the first night I worked for the center was the night of their open house. She and a friend asked me out to the weekly gay night which while fun has elements of raucous frat party like every venue here in this college town. But the funny part is that neither of us had eaten before the open house so we were drinking like fish on empty stomachs. We had a funny episode. Ended up at Denny's. She had issues with being so plastered in front of me and wouldn't look me in the face but the next day did not remember much past leaving the bar much less why she woke up sleeping in her daughters bed. No biggie for me but it took her a while to get over the embarrassment. It was a good bonding episode. Since then there have been a few other events. I attended a Queer Leadership retreat overnight. It was pretty amazing although weird playing 10 fingers the truth game with sexually inexperienced but adventurous 18 year olds. Which reminds me. How did I get to this place of acceptance. I stopped giving a fuck. Stopped feeling like I didn't belong here. Stopped going out of my way to say hello to asshole children with pronounced senses of entitlement who mostly snarl in return anyway. Leaving my res hall and being struck each and everytime by the beautiful redwoods and Xmas smell of the woods helps too.

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My fab boss Tam and our friend Ray in yellow

I'm writing tonight partly from the boost this sudafed is giving me but partly because I've just emerged from a great night of responsibility in which I was asked to table for the Queer Ctr at the Chicano Latino new student welcome night. What a fun time!!! And what a respite to be in a room full of Latinos like myself. I love it here but its so very white and I miss the brown-ness like I had at Santa Ana College. The event concluded with literally the entire room line dancing and singing at the top of their lungs. I felt really happy my bosses trusted me to rep the center after knowing me such a short time.

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Queer Leadership Retreat group photo

Next time, the quarter system and how it makes your head spin.A-dorm
endless construction and the ever present stench of portalet at Porter

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Comments {2}

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from: deadfrk2
date: Oct. 19th, 2009 03:27 pm (UTC)
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Your're very easy to get along with and trustworthy and it looks like a good group of people.

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mattrem

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from: mattrem
date: Oct. 26th, 2009 02:57 pm (UTC)
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Please don't eat the small, innocent children.

I think we're really in similar places right now except (A) I don't run naked through the woods (alligators) and (B) I haven't found my Tam yet. I think the best friendship I've made down here so far is with Nickey who has some developmental and emotional issues. He's a really nice guy, though. And Cory, who should really have been cast as one of the Fairies in Pixie Hollow...he has no business working in a sports bar the way he swishes and carries on about Kylie and Britney.

I'm glad you've found your place of equilibrium. As for me, I'm looking forward to getting back to it when I return to UT. To be honest, it will probably be much easier to focus on school now that the romantic part of the relationship with Berny is officially over.

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